God's Real Presence - a birth story

Going into this birth, I really wanted to do it right. This was my first time and I had no idea what to expect, so I was researching a lot and seeking out as many positive natural birth stories as I could find! I may have been slightly obsessed, haha. One thing I kept hearing was that relaxing and letting go brings less pain and a smoother birth, while fear brings more pain and interrupts the body’s natural birthing rhythms. God is so good and gave me so many scriptures about not having fear and I clung to these throughout the entire birth process.

“I will fear no evil, for You are with me!” - This was my motto, taken from Psalm 23. God is with me, and I will fear no evil: no fear of c-section, no need to panic in a contraction, no need to fear pushing. God is here and I will not be afraid of what-ifs!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

"He will gently lead those that are with young." (From Isaiah 40:11, a verse in Isaiah about God being a loving shepherd to us.)

I recorded myself reading Psalms 91, 46, and 139 to listen to during labor and I ended up listening to them during my pregnancy when I was driving or going to sleep. I also listened to the Scripture Meditations album by Erin Bates Paine and planned to listen to this during labor as well. I never got a chance to turn these on while I was laboring, but listening to these scriptures beforehand had them ready in my mind. 

Oddly enough, I also quoted scriptures during labor that I haven’t looked at in a long time. God just brought them to mind when I needed them!

As a side note, my favorite secular resources were the Bradley Method relaxation techniques and Bridget Teyler’s YouTube channel. 

Here’s the story from start to finish!

Easter Sunday

2:00 am - I started having contractions early Sunday morning, right after PJ got home from work. I only told him I was feeling crampy like an upset stomach just because I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to get too excited! I timed them from 6 am to 7 am and they were 8 min apart, 1 min long. Debating whether to go to church or not, I texted Mom and my sister Hannah for advice.

9:00 am - My surges petered off, so I went to church. Praise God, I got to play piano with PJ, sing in the choir, and play piano for a special song with some friends and family. I had been a little concerned about planning to play music so close to my due date, so I was grateful it all worked out. Right after the service, I had one contraction then no more during family Easter celebrations. I took a nap, went on a long walk up a steep hill near my in-laws' house, and contractions started again.

6:00 pm - At home, I tried to make dinner, but the contractions were too strong. We were going to watch a movie but were both tired from not sleeping well the previous night. My midwives were telling me to rest in preparation for labor, but I slept badly that night, too, timing contractions. My husband PJ was super sweet and supportive though he was tired too.

April Fool’s Day (my due date)

7:00 am- I was still timing my contractions like a psycho and had gotten up to sit on my birthing ball and then make myself breakfast. Then I sat on the couch when Mom called to check on me, and my contractions slowed again! I was able to take a good nap.

2:00 pm - I had an appointment at the birth center that day, and the midwife said I was 2 cm dilated. She asked if I wanted a stretch and sweep, and first I thought no, since PJ had to go to court the next day, and I hated for him to do that right after staying up all night for a birth! Then I changed my mind and said yes. The midwife told me to go home, relax, watch a movie, and take my mind off it all. She gave me some homeopathic sleep pills plus a Benadryl so I would sleep that night. The midwife said to wait until my contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart for an hour and fifteen minutes before calling or getting excited. Hannah also encouraged me not to time every contraction so I could relax. I didn't time any contractions for the rest of the day and was very proud of myself! :)

4:00 pm - PJ found out he didn’t have to go to court the next day because the defendant had pled guilty. Thank you, Lord! Now I was glad I had done the stretch and sweep. We watched a movie and then I took a warm bath, which was quite a relief!

11:30 pm - I went to bed after taking half of the homeopathic sleep tablets. Contractions were relatively strong at this point.

April 2

2:00 am - I was starting to get very frustrated. It was a similar state to how I get when I have a fever and wake up in the night. I took the other half of the homeopathic pills and just wished my contractions would stop. In hindsight, this may have been the transition period. The funny thing is, I had finally started feeling in control during contractions. I had called out to the Lord several times that night, and now peaceful scripture was flooding my mind, almost against my will (I really wanted to be negative!). Also, I had a good belly-breathing strategy for the pain and was trying to fully embrace the power of each contraction. Around this time, I couldn’t decide whether I should take the Benadryl or not. I didn’t want to get too sleepy just in case I’d be giving birth soon, but in my weird state, I thought this could be the magic pill that took all of my pain away. I just sat there for a while, then I prayed to see if I should take it or not. I couldn’t get it open, haha, so I skipped it and went back to sleep. I told myself if I made it to 4 am I could time my contractions since they seemed 5 minutes apart by now.

3:45 am - I finally let myself time my contractions. They were sometimes as short as 2 minutes apart at an average of 3 1/2 minutes apart!

4:45 am - I texted my midwife my contraction timings and she called. It was hard to think or to talk, but she wanted to do a cervical exam before I went in since we lived close to each other and 30 minutes from the birth center. She was saying don't rush it, especially since she had just come home from another birth. I had a couple of contractions while on the phone with her. By now, PJ was awake and I told him what was going on. Right before the exam, I had some bloody show! That seemed like proof that my contractions were doing something, but I tried not to get my hopes up about what kind of dilation numbers I’d hear. My midwife came to our house, examined me, and pronounced me 7-8 cm and time to go! I was over the moon excited! We hurried to pack up things we'd need, including a car seat for the extra person we'd bring home with us!

5:30 am - On the drive there, I expected to go through transition (I had read you freak out and lose motivation; I had been dreading this part). That never happened. Like I said, that could have been earlier in the night. Driving to the birth center is a sweet memory, as we goofed around, singing silly songs and cracking jokes. I had a couple of contractions on the way but managed to find a position where I could sag my tummy and relax.

6:00 am - We arrived at the birth center and I got into the tub. I had a contraction in the bathroom and a contraction as I was getting into the tub, but I felt fine and honestly a little bored after I got in. It was a nice temp and all, but it just seemed awkward. I asked PJ, “Now what?” And then I had a contraction with a weird feeling at the end, like an uncontrollable squeezing urge. The midwife reminded me to low moan as I breathed out, and that felt really good. She said she was going to rest her eyes upstairs for a bit. I was like, “Aw you poor thing! Go ahead and sleep!” Which was sweet or whatever but also super dumb. If I’m feeling like pushing, what am I doing telling my midwife to sleep?

After the midwife left, I had a couple of normal contractions. I practiced three things my midwife had suggested: relaxing my shoulders and between my eyebrows and breathing in through my nose. Very practical and helpful! This was the best I felt all night: I was in a warm tub, I had learned so much about relaxing, I was adding these extra relaxation tips, and PJ was there with me. I felt in control.

Contractions became that weird bowel squeeze again, and I was breathing and relaxing, then I got on my hands and knees since I had heard that would help prevent tearing. It was just PJ and me in the room, and he helped me know if I was deep enough in the water. I could feel something coming out! I thought it was the head, but later I learned it was the amniotic sac. PJ called the midwife’s number on my phone. She came in and I think I mumbled something about the "ring of fire" while trying to use Bradley method terminology. Ha. The midwife wanted to read the baby's heart rate and asked me to change to a less comfortable position. I didn't want to move, but I eventually moved for her. I was confused about what was going on, but something was coming! At some point, I was back on my hands and knees. Aside from maybe one or two times, I don’t remember ever intentionally pushing, but just feeling that urge and being unable to stop.

7:00 am - Bag, head, baby, they practically shot out all at once! I think we were all equally surprised! All of the confusing chaos of the pushing stage ended with me just praising God and crying, holding that weird white waxy baby, and looking at PJ! The midwife prompted me to “see what it is” and it was a girl! What a mind-blowing moment— here’s a baby, seemingly out of nowhere!

Later my midwife commented that “someone was watching out for me” by how smooth and fast everything went. Praise the Lord, I had prayed so much that God’s presence would be evident in the birthing room. Not only did He answer that prayer, but He gave me a wonderfully peaceful labor. It was such a best-case scenario to labor so much at home, just meditating on scripture in bed. I was surprised by not having a bad transition and how God helped me through it all. I wouldn’t change anything about how Victoria’s birth went and I’m so grateful to everyone who prayed for me!